Saturday Night NHL Awards

I had big plans for internet radio; the Preds at four, Buckeye men at seven (with the women on RealTime scoring), and Pens at ten thirty. At three fifty-five I tuned in, leaned back, put my feet up on the desk... and fell asleep. (I blame the library adventure.) By the time I woke up the game was over, the Preds were winners, and I had no feeling left in my feet. So I traded Dad the computer and a crash course in Facebook chat for the remote and watched the Wings and Leafs.

Johnny Bower is a really cute old guy. As far as I'm concerned they could have spent twice as much time talking to him on "50 Years Behind the Mask" and nixed the segment where that guy rambled about the need for standardized sizing for goalie masks.

You can tell how excited Bobby Hull is for Brett. No matter what your general opinion of them is, that's nice to see. It's a little freaky to vividly remember every single Hall of Fame inductee playing/coaching/broadcasting. I'm not old enough for this yet!

The Leafs were good, the Wings weren't especially. Jonas Gustavsson was mostly awesome. (Lucky when he was suddenly possessed by the spirit of a d-man and left his crease to chase a Wing around behind the net while on the penalty kill!)

Both Buckeye squads earned a victory. The ladies moved into second place in the WCHA, and the men avoided a sweep by Northern Michigan.

I took one look at the Pens highlights, down 3-0 and Letang out with an injured arm/shoulder, and went to bed.

Big Shiny Gold Star
Dan Cleary had the only bright spot for the Wings last night. His pretty wrister was the one hundredth goal of his career.

***Honorable mention to the Leafs in general, nice game sirs. Also to Dmitry Kulikov for recording his first ever NHL goal and TJ Oshie, who knocked a Flyer out on his way to a goal :D ***

Summer's Eve Award
I hate California. For years people have been saying that it's going to slide off into the ocean one day. Why doesn't it just go already and take its wildfires and smog and stupid hockey teams with it? (Except for George Parros, him I'd keep.)

Cookies of Pity
The latest installment in a long series of cringeworthy injuries this season, Cam Ward's sliced thigh and resulting blood trail were pretty gross. He gets pity cookies because on top of sustaining a scary injury, they sent him to Riverside. The food sucks at Riverside.

I have a theory: All these injuries are a result of the hockey gods being royally pissed off. Can it be a coincidence that half the league has been/is currently on the injured list? I think not. It's far more likely that this is a sign of their displeasure with the state of affairs in the NHL; power struggles over financially failing teams, contract controversies, Olympic controversy, the players' union shot all to hell, the DirecTV/Versus mess...

WTF Media Award
To the guy doing the Wings vs. Leafs game that said trying to decapitate someone was a good way to get your "compete level" up. With all the recent discussion about headshots that was pretty stupid.

*** Dishonorable mention: In this super technological world that we live in there is no excuse for a game (Preds vs. Kings) to not be broadcast somewhere. No highlights = angry me***

I am not lost! I just don't know where we are.

Britt and I went to the big library downtown yesterday. When we go somewhere I’m always the navigator, responsible for getting directions, reading maps, and knowing the phone number and business hours of wherever we’re going. This time she said she’d take care of it. I should have known better.

Everything is going fine. It’s a beautiful day. She hasn’t been on the phone with Dipshit at all. Then, she exits on 11th Ave. I asked if she was sure this was where we were supposed to get off (knowing that it wasn’t). This was met with a testy “I’m following the directions, just like they say! Look for 9th Ave.” I tried telling her that 9th would run parallel to 11th and wasn’t going to be near the library anyway, but that didn’t go over real well either. So I kept my mouth shut as we went down 11th to High St, up Main to Grant, and then had to turn around because she missed the turn for the garage.

The weird trip continued inside where I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in years. We chatted for a bit and she ended the conversation by saying “Aubrey. Girl. You frozen in time.” (What the hell is this supposed to mean?)

We managed to finish librarying in less than an hour (free parking!) and I convinced Britt to let me tell her how to get home. Unfortunately I did not know that the Broad St. ramp to 71 was closed. Instead of just turning around and letting me direct her another way (like a normal person would) she decided to drive clear up Broad to Hamilton and got on 270 out by the airport. It took us nearly two hours to get home. I guess, to be fair, she just wanted to get out of the neighborhood.

Britt: Did that say Parsons Ave?
Me: Probably.
Britt: Oh my god. People get shot on Parsons Ave!
Me: Not on this end and not during the day. Usually.
Britt: Never again MapQuest!

Once we finally got back to our neck of the woods we stopped to grab some lunch, still hoping to make it home before the OSU/Penn State game.

Pete*: Thanks for stopping at Sonic. What can I get you today?
Britt: I need a number seven with fries, honey mustard, and a Coke.
Pete: Do you want fries?
Britt: Uh, yeah.
(Long pause)
Pete: Is that all?
Britt: No. I need another number seven with fries, honey mustard, and an Ocean Water.
(No response from Pete. We wait. And wait.)
Britt: Are we on Candid Camera?
Me: Maybe.
Britt: We are the only people in this effing line!
(After about five minutes)
Pete: OK, two number sevens. It’ll be (whatever) at the window. Did you want any sauce with those?
Britt: Honey. Mustard.

* Not necessarily his real name

It is a miracle that we were not in an accident or stopped by the cops on the way home, but Britt made it in time for the football game and I settled in at the desk for an afternoon/evening of internet radio hockey.

Oh this is just perfect...

I have a weird symbiotic relationship with the Blue Jackets. I’m not a fan and their fans tend to annoy me. But I need them to bring my favorite teams to town, and they need a strong hockey fan community to buy tickets and assure non-fans that they will in fact be able to follow the puck if they just give the sport a chance. It's awkward, but working so far. (This somewhat bizarre bond is one of the reasons that I’m volunteering down at Nationwide next week, the other one being that I really need to get out of the house and do something.)

So, even though I don’t count myself a fan, I was a little freaked out by reports earlier this year that the organization had lost a buttload of money and the team would be moving. Talk died down before the start of the season and I figured that things would be worked out eventually, no need to panic.

However, now I am panicking. Not because the story is making headlines again, but because Puck Daddy is saying that this is not that big a deal. This is the same thing they said about the DirecTV/Versus contract dispute and we all know how that turned out.

Preds vs. Ducks (Sort of) Recap and Awards

Pregame:
The Ducks’ announcers say the Preds’ power play is their biggest weapon. They also let us know they’ll be stalking Corey Perry all night*.

First period:
Rinne comes out to play the puck and Klein hits him. “Pucks stick to Rinne like Velcro.” Santorelli with a shot from the circle. Tootoo lays a perfectly clean open ice hit on Ryan Carter and the announcers whine. The Preds power play fails. Goc gets behind the D and… fails too. Just off a 5-on-3, Teemu Selanne scores. We can add Dave Scatchard’s jaw to the list of things I’m sick of hearing about. The announcers seem to believe that jaw realignment can somehow cure concussions. Santorelli with another shot from the circle, Hiller with a flashier-than-necessary save.

Intermission:
Pens and Kings are tied at one each. In Bryzgalov vs. Sharp, Bryz is winning. Lars Eller nets his first ever NHL goal for the Blues. Kotalik rips one by Khabibulin during a live look in. No Pens highlights >:(

Second:
Sullivan and Hornqvist 2-on-1, fail. Santorelli is this close to putting away Thuresson’s rebound. Artyukhin almost looks like a real hockey player. Blah, blah, blah, penalties… The announcers explain that Marchant should not be called for slashing because carbon fiber is a brittle material that shatters if you so much as tap it in the right place. We can add Big Wisniewski Roll to the list of phrases I never want to hear again. Parros vs. Belak. Belak is the winner in a unanimous decision.

Intermission:
Cinderella says to keep your kid in a booster seat until they’re five feet tall. In that case I wouldn’t have been out of mine until high school. Verizon’s top ten goals appear out of nowhere, run with no explanation, and disappear into a commercial. The time change is killing me. It’s midnight, but it feels like one in the morning. The white elbows on the sleeves of the Kings’ jerseys are weird. During a live look in at the Pens game:

Third:
Preds’ power play fails again. Tootoo and somebody have a 2-on-1. At least I think it was Tootoo. One announcer kept saying Tootoo, the other one was saying Sullivan, and they never showed a replay where I could tell for myself. Doesn’t really matter, whoever it was didn’t score. I finally give up and fall asleep. Only to be rudely awakened by the goal horn not once, but twice.

It appeared in my addlepated state of half-sleeping that turnovers led to both of those goals, not sure though. I checked the Pens score and about fell of the couch when I saw the Kings up 5-2. With neither game looking good, I hit mute and crashed for the night.

* Corey Perry Watch (all in the first):
We see him entering the arena and hear the nice things Sidney Crosby has to say about him. We watch him sit on the bench, and then skate around while Selanne scores. We reminisce (with fun graphics) about his time with the London Knights and Portland Pirates and learn that he sits at the top of the three stars leaderboard. Then he is interviewed about Selanne’s goal.

Big Shiny Gold Star
It’s open for nominations. I’m hesitant to award one, not having seen the third period. I would be inclined to give it to Santorelli after two.

[UPDATE] After checking out NHL.com today, it doesn't look like Rinne played a bad game and Hornqvist's ten shot are certainly worth mentioning.

Summer’s Eve Award
The dumbest single play I saw last night belonged to Eric Brewer. Chris Mason got a piece of Iginla’s shot and reached back to sweep the puck out before it crossed the goal line. He succeeded, but Brewer came flying in and poked it over.

*** I don’t think I particularly like Klein and Legwand seems to fall down an awful lot.***

WTF Media Award
This one is actually retroactive to Wednesday night. Channel 10’s sports guy was in ecstasy over Nash’s power play goal and asked “Have you ever seen a harder angle to shoot from?!” Let's see, he was between the goal line and the bottom of the circle so… Yes. Yes we have. In fact Brian Rolston had just scored from behind the net that night.

I seem to be talking about hair a lot recently....

See, here is Jarome Iginla's hair:


I think it might have eventually emigrated to Henrik Zetterberg's face, because he appears clean shaven in the program:

Yesterday's News: Russian Olympic Controversy and the Avs Lead the West

I’ve been sorting through some old boxes lately and look what I found. My old hockey programs! It was fun to flip back through them, to see familiar names in unfamiliar places and laugh out loud at some of the articles. I turned up two Ice Time programs from our trips to Pittsburgh along with the Pens' '97-'98 yearbook and my Joey Mullen sign:

Oh the epic mullets... I was sad to see how many of those guys I'd forgotten. I can no longer, correctly and without any hesitation, spell Joe Dziedzic's name. Sam Gagner made an unexpected appearance in the yearbook:

Besides realizing that I'd forgotten how to spell Dziedzic, I noticed while looking through the oldest Ice Time ('97) that I have been a hockey fan longer than Lindy Ruff has been the coach of the Buffalo Sabres. Weird, since it seems like he's been their coach since the dawn of time. It was also funny that the only current Penguin to show up in that program is Jay McKee:

The newer Ice Time ('01) is full of amusing "current" news. Dominik Hasek is expected to retire after the season. Eric Lindros has a concussion. There's a Q&A with Pavel Bure about Russian NHLer's not wanting to participate in the Olympics. Nikolai Khabibulin has recently signed a multi-year contract and the Avalanche are number one in the West. The Pens hotness factor has quintupled in the years since this team took the ice. There are a couple of good looking guys:

But the rest of the team? Not so much:

Non-NHL hockey was also represented with my World Cup program and two from OSU. (There are three more college ones laying around here somewhere featuring Umberger, Steckel and Kesler, but I didn't feel like looking for them.)


The World Cup of Hockey program reminisces a lot about the eighties and Canada vs. Russia, but there was an interesting article about "young stars" Jarome Iginla (with hair!), Roberto Luongo (with Florida), Dany Heatley (with Atlanta), Shane Doan, Wade Redden, Joe Thornton (with Boston), Ilya Kovalchuk, Rick DiPietro (with no apparent injuries!), Ty Conklin, and Marian Gaborik.

The Russian team welcomes Alex Ovechkin, who might one day be as good as Kovalchuk. We also learn that neither Evgeni Nabokov nor Ilya Bryzgalov is a "big time goaltender" and Sweden's greatest weakness is in net where they will start... Henrik Lundqvist. The future of American hockey looks bright following an '04 World Junior Championship. Patrick O'Sullivan and Patrick Eaves show off their gold medals:

My oldest OSU program isn't that interesting. It took awhile before they were full of something besides ads and university history. The conference stats are worth a look. Mike Comrie, Shawn Horcoff, Adam Hall, Greg Zanon make the leading scorers sheet, and Ryan Miller tops the netminders' list with his stingy GAA:

By the time the Ohio Hockey Classic rolled around (this was the infamous skipping Grandma's birthday incident) the programs were a little more informed. That's Rod Pelley on the cover for the Buckeyes, along with Miami goalie Brandon Crawford-West, the Tigers' Brett Sterling, and the Mavericks' David Backes. Backes was also the featured player in Minnesota State's team preview:

If you're still with me, thanks for rambling along down memory lane. Sorry this blog was so long!

Pens vs. Ducks Awards (Sort Of)

If someone saw this whole game, could they explain why Jordan Staal is the third star? (Seriously. This is not a sarcastic, rhetorical question.)

Big Shiny Gold Star
This is kind of ridiculous. I never expected Mike Rupp to score so often when I made this rule up! Not that I’m really complaining…

***Honorable mention to Sid’s big save late in the game. Looks like that practice in goal this summer might have come in handy. Also to Tyler Kennedy (+3, two assists, nice comeback game sir!), Pascal Dupuis (another goal and continued beastliness), and Kris Letang (first goal of the season!).***

Summer’s Eve Award
Koivu interfered with Orpik right before he scored the Ducks' third goal and as I mentioned in the previous post, Letang took a rather obvious stick up high. The refs missed both of those calls and who know how many more.

*** Dishonorable mention to Bill Guerin for being -2 with four giveaways, and Chris Bourque for being pretty much useless in front of the net on Perry’s second goal. I’m going by the little bits of the game that I saw on Yahoo, NHL Network’s highlights, and the stat sheet, but it didn’t look like a real good night for either of these guys.***

WTF Media Award
Partly to Yahoo for their feed not working, partly to me for even trying.