I don't have the energy for editing this morning, so this is really long and pretty much exactly what I scribbled down during the game (minus doodles).
Pregame Stupidity:
"The Blue Jackets are in Nashville where the Preds have had their way with Columbus.” Yeah I’d say so. Their last win in Nashville was in November of 2006.
"In the last game the Jackets matched the physicality of the Stars. Rick Nash even had a double minor for roughing!” Actually he didn’t. He got two for boarding because he hit Robidas when he was already kind of fallen over and two for roughing because Robidas took exception to the hit.
“Steve Mason looked like a Gold Glove first baseman playing the puck the other night.” Wow. Ray Crawford has a serious man-crush on Mason. “Mase” also showed “grit” coming out of his crease when Turco “put a hand on Rick Nash.” Please. He wandered out of his net and went back when the refs told him to. He wasn’t going to hit anybody.
Anton Stralman should not be shirtless. Ever.
OMG! Huselius can count backwards from five! Player of the game!
Arnott’s not on for the pregame skate? He didn’t practice this morning? What?!! Oh, now he’s fine. Thanks very much for making me freak out you losers. How will he react after skipping practice/warmups? Hmm, pr’y like a fifteen year veteran. I doubt not warming up is going to make a huge difference for him.
Pregame Stupidity:
"The Blue Jackets are in Nashville where the Preds have had their way with Columbus.” Yeah I’d say so. Their last win in Nashville was in November of 2006.
"In the last game the Jackets matched the physicality of the Stars. Rick Nash even had a double minor for roughing!” Actually he didn’t. He got two for boarding because he hit Robidas when he was already kind of fallen over and two for roughing because Robidas took exception to the hit.
“Steve Mason looked like a Gold Glove first baseman playing the puck the other night.” Wow. Ray Crawford has a serious man-crush on Mason. “Mase” also showed “grit” coming out of his crease when Turco “put a hand on Rick Nash.” Please. He wandered out of his net and went back when the refs told him to. He wasn’t going to hit anybody.
Anton Stralman should not be shirtless. Ever.
OMG! Huselius can count backwards from five! Player of the game!
Arnott’s not on for the pregame skate? He didn’t practice this morning? What?!! Oh, now he’s fine. Thanks very much for making me freak out you losers. How will he react after skipping practice/warmups? Hmm, pr’y like a fifteen year veteran. I doubt not warming up is going to make a huge difference for him.
Enough with the country music cracks. It’s not like Columbus is such a chic, sophisticated city. Every white person here is either a redneck or a wigger.
Rimer and Davidge are the Brooks and Dunn of broadcasting. So… they’re splitting up? That’d be kind of awesome. Of course they’d just get some other moron in here as a replacement.
“They call them (Arnott, Sullivan, and Dumont) the Geezer Line.” They do?
Regulation:
The game does not start well. Someone (announcers said Weber, but I don’t think that’s who it was) is leveled by Blunden. Rinne makes an adventurous save on Nash. Five minutes in Brassard’s pass deflects off a stick, goes up into the air, and is swatted into the net by Umberger’s high stick. The refs correctly wave it off, but it’s reviewed anyway.
FS Ohio runs “the definitive replay” which shows Umberger’s stick level with his shoulders. The announcers talk at length about his stick being parallel to various things (his shoulders, the crossbar, the ice, etc.) until they realize that the rule is your stick has to be below the crossbar, not your shoulders. Then they quit showing “the definitive replay” and say that Umberger’s stick was well below the crossbar. Of course in that case, considering all the parallelness, he’d have to be about four feet tall. This replay is taking an unbelievably long time. What do you mean it’s good? No! That was not a goal! 1-0 Jackets.
Who let John Michael play with the drums?
Tootoo rings one off the pipe. Vermette is called for tripping and the Preds get the first power play of the game. Bouillon’s point shot is deflected in by Arnott the decrepit geezer. Mason whines about the traffic. He is such a drama queen. Tied 1-1.
WTF?! WTF?! Jackets tie it. Immediately. None of the replays effectively show what happened. Not that I especially wanted to see it again. 2-1 Jackets.
Klesla, after a high hit on Belak, goes to the box. The broadcasters point out that this is Belak’s fault since he ducked into the hit. At least Pittsburgh’s crew is stupid funny when they’re on crack. These guys are just stupid annoying. Dumont fakes out Methot on the kill and Methot falls down. A Weeble he ain’t.
Next Saturday is “Whiteout Saturday” at Nationwide. All fans will receive free t-shirts.
#1 – That shirt does not look white. Ecru, winter white maybe.
#2 – How does it end up being a whiteout with that giant blue logo on the shirts?
Just before intermission, Arnott takes the textbook definition of a good penalty, tying up Brassard.
The Preds start the second down a man, but the PK looks good. They’ve got Columbus stuck in their own end when Erat intercepts Voracek’s pass and hits Legwand for the shorty. 2-1 Preds!
They kill off the rest of the penalty and get their own power play chance as Brassard hauls down Bouillon. Weber’s bomb from the point is tipped in by Erat! 3-2 Preds.
Santorelli appears to be massively interfered with by Stralman. The announcers say the fans are up in arms because they “have not seen many hip checks.” Right. Nobody ever throws a hip check in Nashville. Geez. Their assertion that there was nothing wrong with the play combined with the fact that they didn’t replay it, leads me to believe my first impression was correct.
Hey look, slutty whores! Go find a pole slutty whores!
Nobody gives a crap about your text poll. Get it off the screen so we can watch the game.
Umberger splits the D, but Rinne stops him. The broadcasters can’t identify their own players, confusing Brassard with Umberger.
“From this angle you get a great sense of Hornqvist using the Jackets’ D as a screen.” We sense this because the replay of… whatever it is, is obstructed by Hamhuis’ rear?
Holy shit Belak! That was dirty! (Considering the season, I ought to have a Nutcracker reference, but he caught me unprepared.) The broadcasters are incensed that Belak only gets two. Icky Stralman scores on the power play. Looked like somebody (Ward?) got caught going the wrong way. Tied 3-3.
Stralman is interviewed at the break. He is much less creepy when he’s dressed. Still creepy, but not as creepy.
As the third period gets underway, the announcers note that Gary Suter is not on the bench. No he isn’t. I imagine he’s in Wisconsin somewhere. Ryan you idiots! They also say (recreated as closely as possible) “He couldn’t return if he wanted to. Kid’s a real trooper. He’s going to play in the Olympics this February.” If that makes sense to anyone, would they kindly explain it to me?
The broadcast crew is now fascinated with the cavalry hats worn by some Jackets’ fans behind the bench. They refer to them as “cowboy hats.” Somewhere George Armstrong Custer is rolling over in his grave.
Stralman takes Arnott down and gets up complaining about being penalized. Mom mocks him: You mean you’re sending me to the box just because I rode some guy to the ice when he didn’t have the puck? The morons insinuate that Arnott dove and the officials are allowing the Preds to hold the Jackets.
Brassard puts the puck over the glass and the refs send him to the box, much to the disgust of the broadcasters. Whether they are disgusted with Brassard for committing the penalty or the refs for calling it is unclear.
“Gary” has returned to the game.
Methot shouldn’t have been called for slashing. The sticks are so brittle they just shatter at the slightest touch. This is ridiculous now. Even Jackets’ fans cannot be buying this bullshit.
“Weber has a hard shot, but not as hard as Zdeno Chara’s. Chara’s shot could break diamonds!”
With bare minutes left in regulation Klein is called for tripping. The penalty kill strongly resembles crap, but Columbus doesn’t score and it goes to overtime.
Bonus Hockey:
(I’m so proud of myself. I managed to take overtime notes!)
The remaining power play is killed off. Rinne makes a huge save on Huselius. Something big happens at the other end, but we missed it because we were watching Rinne stand in his crease. Nash is sent off for hooking. He’s not happy and neither are the broadcasters, “Eighth power play for Nashville. Eighth!” Blah, blah, nobody scores. Shootout.
Carmina Burana. Good choice sound people.
Huselius… loses the puck before he even gets a shot off.
Santorelli… Pad save. Wait. It went in!
Nash… Puts the puck in the net, then follows it with his stupidass overpaid self.
Legwand… Speaking of slutty whores, five hole!
Voracek… Denied by Rinne!
Preds win :D
Postgame Stupidity:
Dude, get over the penalties. The refs wouldn’t call them if Columbus would quit screwing up.
Steve Mason is interviewed. He only touches his face three times.
Katie Vynahlek (or something like that) really loves Derick Brassard. Every third text scrolling along the bottom of the screen is a plea for him to marry her.
Random texter: “Nashville got lucky” You sir, are an idiot. Given the atrocious number of penalties taken by the Jackets and the number of shots the Preds put on Mason, you're lucky it wasn't a more embarrassing loss. Your douchewad goalie was all that stood between you and a blowout.
Crawford, following Hitchcock’s statement that the Jackets got outworked tonight: “Could be.” No Ray, I think Hitch pr’y knows what he’s talking about since he’s been doing this for oh, about a gazillion years.
The Rangers, Canadiens, and Senators are all labeled “East” on the graphic regarding upcoming games. Do people seriously not know this already?
Ray just used the word “though” six times in one sentence. I think that’s enough postgame show for tonight.
Big Shiny Gold Three for three, Mike Santorelli gets to be the Shootout King.
***Honorable mentions: Bouillon seemed to have a pretty good game. That or the camera guys just caught all the good parts. Fedor Tyutin got no love from his own people so I’ll spare him a little of mine. He played over twenty-five minutes, recorded two assists and two shots (seven others missed or blocked), and had a couple of blocks himself. Derick Brassard, the future Mr. Katie Vynahlek, had one of his better games of the season despite the penalties.***
Summer’s Eve AwardWade Belak there’s no excuse for whacking a dude in the nuts. Ever. Especially not when your team is up and said guy didn’t do anything to you. (Unless he's a Flyer.)
WTF Media AwardHard to believe there’s yet another stupid statement isn’t there? When Nash headed for the box in overtime the broadcasters pointed to Arnott as a potential power play threat saying “Arnott has 129 power play goals on the year.” Damn! Wish I had him on my fantasy team! Seriously though, that’s not even his correct career total. His two scores this season bring him up to 132.
